I was thanked for being me……..what an odd feeling. After a lifetime of disliking the “Fake Game”, then going with it, then giving noogies to the heads of the “Games” players and standing up against it has landed me here……At a picnic table in a beautiful park on a sunny afternoon sitting across from a beautiful bright soul with a smile Thanking me for being ME. Colour me dumb struck.
Now don’t get me wrong, I have been ME for 40 some-odd Years. I have a loving husband and two wonderful kids that get and love ME, support ME. Yet I have not always held confidence in ME being widely accepted.
I spent a good portion of my life questioning if I should be ME. I’m not interested in getting into the details of WHY…..we all have our shit. That shit at some point in your life is going to make you decide when it’s finally time to be real or to keep faking it.
Those shitty moments force you to choose what is really worth investing in and caring about. Where your loyalty, morals and ethics are and how in the end all you have is your humbleness and integrity.
Or do you throw those away to join in the “Fake Game” so you can stay above others.
My problem with the “Fake Game” is I have always felt that Games are for sports where people are divided into winner or loser and to me that goes against my beliefs of cherishing loved ones.
Relationships are not formed by a winner and a loser, but rather by an equal playing field. Where everyone keeps their morals and ethics and actively works on building their Character and in doing so encourages and celebrates others in building theirs. You have integrity and stay humble. Everyone is equal to the collectives well being.
Active game players have these Fake personas that are equal to a statue. Looks great and leads you believe that there is no other way except their glorious way! It’s shiny and bright and demands respect and adoration from all. Sometimes these fake personas even play pretend at being sweet little creatures that need to be rescued. If you do rescue them you can join them in on their make believe world. However they choose to suck you into their make believe world, that’s what it is. Fake.
The fault in Fake? The underlining flaw they tent to all have. Insecurity and massive unresolved issues. The programming has become corrupt and they are stuck in survival mode. The only choice they have is to make sure they have complete control of all players so they can guarantee they are the winner. The outcome is they become cold and selfish. Bitter that the world can not appreciate that they are completely entitled to everything they want or that nothing is ever their fault. The fake persona is Absolutely untrusting of all around them, because they themselves are completely untrustworthy.
It is lonely guarding the entrance to a make-believe land that is usually harbouring darkness and disparities of the aftermath of their pursuit to control each moment and aspect of their life. All to be the “winner” in a “Fake Game”.
I had spent a lot of my life observing and trying to play. Very quickly discovering I sucked at at it. I could never figure out what was truth, who was right, why it all felt wrong. People make crap up, then say you’ve made it up, spinning you like a top all over the place and the only way to gain any ground is to return the nasty favour. Didn’t feel good to Me.
Apparently there is rule in the game of “You have to eat the shit sandwich” Let me just say a buffet of those Poo Dogs every week for your entire life because your under the belief that, that is all there is to life. Eat or be eaten. Pretend your perfect. Don’t be yourself! Your self is not exceptional. Fake it!!……”Aahhh….But I kinda Like ME?….”
Bugger that!!I would rather ride the bench then do all that crap! It was exasperating. I would refuse to play and be ostracized. Or worse I would get the look. You know….Air sucked through mouth, eyes roll back in their head and they quickly look over at their other Fake game playing “friend for now” and give me the “Whatever” stare. As if to say, “If we agree, then your the loser and we continue the game without you.” As if this was such a horrific lose.
Baffled by the game and its endless changing rules I decided I would much rather play by myself then continue to participate in the falsity of Fake-land. Nobody ever won! Every player is a neurotic mess, perpetuating another neurotic messed up Player!
Besides I have a great Husband and two wonderful kids that enjoy me much more when I’m ME. We enjoyed WE! WE liked the bench! Yeah for riding pine!
Then slowly I found a few others! People who were over on the sidelines gladly riding the bench. They were happy, loved and enjoyable to be around. They were honest AND kind, yet successful…..Son of a Gun!! People not playing games and real! I gladly threw out the games and gave up the fake. It’s the hardest thing to do. It is so much easier to go along with the pretend, everyone else lives there it seems. Or so I thought.
Here I am on the other side, feeling better about myself, not questioning the company I am with because we are all getting to be real with each other and feeling safe for doing so. Trusting that the compliment and appreciation for me being ME is real and not some sword being welded to gain advancement on the board.
In return I am appreciative that the thank-you comes from me being honest with her that the Shit sandwich that was put in front of her, was not hers to eat. In fact, throw that Poo Dog in the garbage and ask that person why they felt anyone deserves that treatment, then trust, love and support them and yourself while you both drop the game, take seat here on the bench with us while we all wait to head for the change rooms. Cheers to those that are brave enough to be real!
Be You! Someone might thank you for it one day! Besides It’s a great repellent for Fake Game Players, they don’t trust what they can’t control!